As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces: "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a...

Why do farts stink?..

You know, one time I farted so badly that I had to...

2 Blokes (Japanese and American) are playing golf. The Japanese guy is getting ready to tee off and suddenly starts talking to his thumb...

Time is a great teacher, but...

The man who smiles when things go wrong...

Friendship is like peeing on yourself...

Is your name Laryngitis?..

If you don't want to give people a bad name...

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry...

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang...

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off...

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger...

Why do women have smaller feet than men...

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and...

Free drinks. 

Free dinners. 

Free movies. 

Speeding ticket?..

Knock Knock!
Who's there? 
Lemonade. 
Lemonade Who...

Knock Knock!
Who's there? 
Yo momma. 
Yo momma, who...

Knock Knock!
Who's there? 
Norma Lee. 
Norma Lee who...

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points...

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night...

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first...

Question: What is one horsepower?..

You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit...

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