Why did the chicken cross the road? GEORGE W. BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented t

Late one night, a burgler broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, he heard a voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Nothing happene

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The f

Once there three male dogs who set eyes on a beautiful female poodle. They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, "I will go out with

Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive;

A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chicke

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed b

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's lookin

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse b

Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles? At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did t

This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service his hens. He got himself a new rooster and let hi

A man named Fred owned a parrot that hardly ever stoped talking. One day the man was going to have an old friend over so he told the parrot to be quie

A preacher visiting his flock in the country happens to see a pig walking around on 3 legs. The preacher stopped by and asked the farmer. My son, what

In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked

On Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a mule from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the mule the next day. On Tues

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be