"I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield

A: I'm in a big trouble!

B: Why is that?

A: I saw a mouse in my house!

• Get up really early and sneak into your victims bathroom and fill their hair-dryer with baby powder. And when they turn it on, their head will be pure white just like an old person!

• Before one of your family members takes shower, remove the shower head and place a life-saver candy in it, replace the shower head with the candy now trapped in it. When the person...

There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion
came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How
funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?"...